A message to the unsupportive husband -- aka "Mama's Boy" (with credit due to Dr. Phil)
Your loyalty needs to be with your wife. Period. Regardless of the pressure you are under from your Mother, your primary loyalty needs to be with the wife that you chose and the family you created together. Your Mother needs to know that if it came down to it, you’d choose your wife over her. (If you don’t truly feel this way, move back in with Mommy.)
If your wife has a problem with your Mother, it is your job to help fix it. Even if you want to avoid the tension and hide in your cave, you can’t make your wife your messenger. Just check with your wife before you speak with your mother so that you present a united front.
Don't invite your parents into your marital problems. Don't turn to your parents when you are having issues in your marriage. If they repeatedly hear only the bad things about your wife, they will remember them. Then, they aren’t involved when you make up and they’ll build a cumulative case against your wife.
Step up, be a man and set boundaries. Let your mother know that it is not OK to disrespect your wife and to invade your privacy. Talk to her about boundaries -- she is not as fragile as you may think. Reassure her that you aren’t shutting her out, just protecting your marriage.
Call your mother! It’s not your wife’s job to remember to call her, or her birthday or mothers’ day. Take responsibility for your relationship with your mother. When you don’t call, visit or send a gift, it’s the DIL who is blamed – not her ‘darling’ son.
Ladies, I invite you to post your Mama's Boy nightmares here, vent here!
Posted by: | February 16, 2007 at 12:55 PM