When I started grad school, we had a useful seminar about stress reduction. The Dr. said that two major stressors we could learn to avoid were “Negative Prediction” and “All or Nothing Thinking." Obviously, this translates to obsessing about potential negative outcomes, and imagining that everything is terrible if one small thing goes wrong.
As I get ready for another Mother-In-Law visit, I can’t help but reflect on these stressors in relation to Mothers-in-Law. When I was getting ready to deliver my daughter, I spent many hormonal moments stressed about my Mother-In-Law’s pending visit. Where she would sleep? How long she would stay? What would I do when my husband was at work and I had to spend the whole day with her hearing about how I should feed, bathe, and care for my newborn? The anticipation of her visit was (almost) as bad as the reality.
Not to blame shift, as she was a bit of a nightmare, but I made the whole situation so much worse for myself by spending waaaay too much time focusing on a potential negative situation. We’ve all done it. Had arguments in our head with our spouse/boss/mother/sister/in-laws. What a waste of precious time.
I can’t imagine I can eliminate all of this thinking. But I’m sure going to try. Because if I spend a week stressing and imagining a terrible visit with my Mother-In-Law, before she arrives, I’ve doubled my pain. For no reason!
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